Monsters
by cipherine
Summary: "Stanleys recovered memories weren't enough to bring me back." Of course this wasn't the reason. "It was you, Pine Tree. You and your strange obsession with me." No need to tell him. Dipper knew. It was his fault entirely. "Dipper Pines, you are truly messed up." (BillDip - Warnings at the beginning of the first chapter!)
1. Obsession

WARNINGS: It's BillDip, and I would rate it MA if this site had an MA rating.

Violence? Yes.

Gore? No.

Rape/NonCon? Everything actually happens with consent, in a messed up way, but you could interpret it differently, so **please be warned**. Also, I can not guarantee what's gonna happen past chapter 5.

I'm so sorry for this, but I have really bad ideas sometimes and need to let them out in some form.  
Dipper in this story is 21 years old. He's also absolutely nothing like the child he used to be.  
So, what you get here is a very _very_ dark and twisted Dipper, even more so in later chapters.  
(Which one of them was the demon, again?)

* * *

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* * *

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* * *

Tick, Tock.

Dipper had wanted to live alone.

To focus on his studies, he chose to live alone in a small flat. It was really not much, he had a room and a kitchen and could afford the rent with his part-time job in the bookstore. Mabel didn't live far from here, together with her boyfriend. Dipper had forgotten his name again. He forgot about everything that wasn't important. Makes more room for new information.  
They visit him sometimes to watch movies, or to go to a bar together, and every time Mabel would ask if it really was okay for him. "You're not feeling like a third wheel or something, dips?" she would ask. He would tell her that it's okay, that he never really feels that way. Then Mabel would sigh and tell him to find some new friends, or a girlfriend for a change, a boyfriend for all she cares. He had told her once that he's unsure whether he's interested in both or nothing. It was a lie. He knows exactly what he wants.

Not much here.  
A room, a kitchen, and a clock. Tick Tock.

These days didn't happen all that often. Days clouded by dark thoughts, not necessarily sad thoughts, but dark ones. Days when everything suddenly felt wrong, a very familiar kind of wrong. The feeling of being watched taking his every step and of being followed by his own shadow. Days when he would lie in bed for what feels like forever, trying to figure out what he wants. He knows, he knows. He just doesn't understand, and Dipper hates whatever he doesn't understand. He hadn't been able to figure out this one in years, and it bothered him. He wasn't able to come to any conclusion other than:  
 _Dipper Pines, something is seriously wrong with you._

Maybe today, he thought.  
Maybe it's not just my own shadow today.  
Eyes only half open, he stares at his sketchbook. He's been drawing random monsters for the past two hours. Some he remembers from Gravity Falls, some just jumped out of his imagination. Every page had a certain shape somewhere on it, small and hard to notice. Triangles. The spell was once written on one of these pages, but he ripped it out ad threw it away, because he didn't want Mabel to see it. She loves to grab his sketchbook and look at the drawings, because she thinks they are great and that Dipper could become an artist if he wanted to. But Dipper wasn't interested in the act of drawing, he was interested in the things he drew.

Eyes hit the clock.  
Midnight.  
Tick Tock.  
He should sleep, he's got two lectures in the morning and work in the afternoon.  
But today it was bad. The feeling won't leave, won't let him sleep.  
 _Are you here?_ Dipper asked in his mind.  
 _Why is it that I feel like you're here sometimes, when you're not?  
Is it even possible for you to be here?_

" _Triangulum, entangulum. Meteforis dominus ventium. Meteforis venetisarium."_

He heard himself say the words as if it wasn't himself talking. He's tried so often. Nothing ever happens. Or does something happen? Is he here, laughing at the stupid young man trying to summon him? Watching him struggle maybe, even?  
Dipper did not look or act desperately. He was careful not to do that, because there was always the possibility that he was watching. And Dipper won't show any weakness. Not until he has figured out what exactly it is that he wants. But the day went by, the comfortable darkness of the night embraced him, and nothing happened at all.

The next day however was the same, and that was _new_.  
Never before had the strange feeling haunted him two days in a row. And Dipper should know, he kept a small journal about it ever since he was 14. That was when it all started. Mabel had noticed a few times. But Dipper had reassured her that when it happened, he was just having a bad day, or that he was missing Gravity Falls. He wasn't sure if Mabel believed him. She's smarter than most people would think.  
"You're still here."  
He said these words after waking up, after sitting in his bed for 30 minutes and focusing on the strange feeling, deciding if it was really still there or not. When he was very sure about it, he grabbed his journal and took note of the time and date.

Then he said it again.  
" _Triangulum, entangulum. Meteforis dominus ventium. Meteforis venetisarium."  
_ Nothing, of course. Still, there's a change. Maybe today.

He had a quick breakfast, just cereals. He didn't have time for anything fancy. Mabel had often told him that he should eat more healthy stuff.  
"Try natural yogurt with fruits, it's perfect for the morning – delicious and healthy!"  
Dipper didn't feel like it.  
Three minutes in the bathroom, a splash of water on his tired face. Didn't help against the dark shadows under his eyes, but he had learned to embrace them. Mabel had told him once that a friend of hers thought Dippers messy hairstyle, three day stubble and the constant dark circles under his eye made him look somewhat "sexy" and "mysterious". Hah. _Mysterious_. Yeah, right.  
He stuffed his wallet, keys, cell-phone and laptop into his huge backpack. He was ready to go, but went back to his room one more time to get the journal, too. Something was different today, so he should try to record every small difference.

Then he wanted to leave, but he couldn't.  
It was as if an invisible force tried to keep him in his room, tough nothing was there.  
The sketchbook was still open from last night, on the desk next to his bed. Dippers fingers brushed over the open page.  
He felt strange.  
Weird.  
Uncomfortable.  
Tired, but not physically.  
 _  
If you're really trying to not look desperate, you're not doing a very good job._

Wait, did he just think this to himself, or was it someone else talking?  
Dipper blinked. He couldn't tell.  
"Are you here?" he asked, the question that has been asked so many, many times.

 ** _Always._**  
Again, Dipper couldn't tell if it was his own thought or not.

"Show yourself."  
The look on the young mans face darkened.

 _Do you really want that,_ _ **Pine Tree**_ _?  
_ His eyes widened. Is it happening? Is it finally, finally happening?  
Or was it just his own imagination?  
He took a deep breath.  
 _  
Yeesh kid, I knew you'd miss me, but you're actually being kinda creepy about it. Look at what you've grown into! It's been a while. Lookin' fine sapling, I wouldn't mind possessing_ _ **this**_ _body.  
_  
"Where are you?!", Dipper yelled without thinking, looking around himself, looking for the triangular shape that has been haunting his dreams for so many, many years.  
 _  
I would've shown myself sooner, but as you might remember, I've been erased._

"You should have been able to come back when Stan recovered his memory. We all knew that and we all took the risk."

 _That's rich, kid. You were the one_ _ **convincing**_ _the others that even if Stanley recovered his memory, I wouldn't be a threat anymore. Incredible that you even managed to convince good old Sixer._

Dipper heard the familiar laughter, but it sounded like it was far, far away.

 _But Stanleys recovered memories weren't enough to bring me back. So you technically don't have to feel bad about lying to your family, Pine Tree.  
_  
Of course this wasn't the reason.  
The laughter seemed to come closer, it felt like it was reaching out to Dipper.

 ** _It was you, Pine Tree.  
You and your strange obsession with me._**

Dipper knew. It was his fault entirely.

 _However…_

Dipper shivered. He still couldn't see anything, and he wasn't in the mindscape either. Everything was still in colour. He had started scratching his arms. A bad habit, showing that he was nervous.

 _I'm not back to full power and I won't be for a long time. But thanks to you trying to summon me multiple times over the past few years, drawing me into your cute little sketchbook about a thousand times, and thinking about me whenever you're not focusing on something else, I can now show myself to you, and you only._

"What do you want?", Dipper asked. He was shaking now.  
 _  
HAHAH. Oh no, Pine Tree. You're not the one asking questions. You will tell ME what it is that_ _ **you**_ _want so desperately.  
_  
The voice suddenly had a clear location. It was right next to Dipper, whispering the words into his right ear. He turned around, breathing heavily, but there was still nothing.

 _Why are you scared? You wanted me to be here so badly. If you tell me what you want, I might just give it to you, since thanks to your fucked up little head I'll be able to come back into this world, one sunny day._

Dipper was silent.

 _Speechless, huh? How about you give me access to your mind then? You might have guessed it, but I'm incredibly bored and you're the only person I can bother right now. If you don't know what you want, I would love to find out myself. How about a deal?_ _ **Show me the darkest corners of your mind, Pine Tree. Let me in and I'll give you whatever it is that I find there, what it is that you want.**_

Then he noticed. The room had been drained of colours after all.  
He was in the mindscape.  
Something touched his shoulder from behind.  
Without looking, without even thinking, Dipper grabbed the hand.  
"Deal."


	2. Wishes

Laughter.  
Way too loud.  
It made Dippers head spin.  
What he saw were all of his dark desires spilled out right in front of him, above him, and on the walls of his blank mind he had given him access to. **  
Him**.  
Bill Cipher.  
The demon that had tried to end the world years ago.  
The demon he had now let into his mind, willingly.

"Oh, Pine Tree, Pine Tree, **Pine Tree**! This is so much BETTER than I would have EVER IMAGINED!"  
The last time Dipper had heard Bill laugh like this was when the rift had opened and the apocalypse had started in Gravity Falls.  
Bill was floating above him in his usual triangular shape, and Dipper didn't dare to look at him, or at the pictures and scenes the demon pulled out of his own mind. He stared at the ground as if there was something incredibly interesting, but even like that he couldn't ignore what his own mind was showing him. All those dreams from the past weeks, months, years. Dirty little secrets he would never tell to anyone, wouldn't even write them down in a diary of some sort, wouldn't even admit them to himself.  
"Y'know kid, my guess was that you wanted revenge on someone and didn't want to dirty your cute little hands. Summoning me to kill or torture someone, that's not uncommon among you meat sacks. But THIS? AHAHAHAHAHAAHA!"  
Dipper felt his face heat up. His heart was throbbing so hard he was afraid Bill could hear it. The demon was laughing so loud that it almost hurt his ears.  
"This is HILARIOUS!", the demon yelled, "I thought Sixer was weird about me, but boy, you're WORSE!"

Dipper kept his eyes closed. He knew what he was getting into. He didn't think twice about taking the deal, because he needed to find out if that really was what he wanted. He needed to see these pictures in his mind, needed to force himself to look at them, because he had locked them away for so long. He had been telling himself that this can not possibly be what he wants. No human would ever want something like this. But there he was, kneeling on the floor of his own dark mind, his entire body shaking because these desires were real, and they were his.

Bill had changed his shape. He came closer.  
"Look what I just picked out of your messed up little dreams!", the demon said, grinning. An actual grin, because he now had a mouth. A human body, but not entirely human, as he still only had one eye, and where a second eye should have been was nothing but a black hole. He was taller than Dipper, had wild, golden hair and his fingernails were like claws. He wore tight, long pants, but no shirt. His skin was tanned and full of strange, thin tattoos, mysteries to be solved. His one eye was glowing bright yellow with the familiar cat-like slit that Dipper had stared into so many times, so many years ago. He was exactly what Dipper had imagined – or wished – him to be like.  
Bill came closer.  
"Naughty little Pine Tree. What is this? Have you been reading too many weird vampire romance novels? Watched too much monster porn? HAHAH. But I'm a man of my word, so you're going to get your end of the deal now", he said. His grin was way too wide to even look remotely human. It sent a shiver down Dippers spine and the young man started shaking again. He was scared, and thrilled.  
"I've seen everything, Pine Tree. No wonder you haven't been in any relationship in all these years. You can't, right? Because when you ask yourself what you want, you think of this. You think of _me_."  
The demon was so close now, so close, Dipper could just…

 **"Dipper Pines, you are truly messed up."**  
Slender fingers lifted Dippers chin. He stared into one eye, and one black void.  
It was horrifying.  
Weird.  
Wrong.  
Deadly.  
It was exactly what Dipper wanted.  
And he wanted to cry.  
Why? _Why did he want this?_ Why couldn't he just be a normal, decent human being?

Bill's lips collided with his own, and Dippers hands immediately moved to the demons chest because he needed something to hold on to. The demons kiss was hungry, possessive, so full of all the messed up emotions that have been boiling up deep inside of Dippers mind. And he kissed back. Opened his mouth in submission and let the other take every bit of control.  
When Bill broke the kiss, Dipper looked horrified and turned on at the same time.  
"It's adorable how even after I've seen all of this, some part of you still denies that these are your own and very real desires."  
Bill grabbed his neck and slammed him into the ground. Dipper screamed at the pain, panting and trembling as Bill pinned him down. Blue Flames engulfed the young mans wrists and kept him in place. The pain wasn't real, because they were in the mindscape. But for Dipper, that was part of the thrill.  
One more kiss.  
Bill began to undress him.  
It was almost too much already. Dipper was hard, and Bill once again broke into shrill, almost screeching laughter. Of course he would laugh, it was pathetic how turned on Dipper already was when Bill had hardly even touched him yet.  
"I can give you so much more than this, Pine Tree."  
Exactly what he wanted to hear.

An agonizing scream left Dipper's throat as Bill sunk his sharp teeth into his neck, drawing blood. He struggled in pain. The demon bit down one more time, the claws on his fingers ripping off Dippers last few pieces of clothing.  
He was now naked, unable to move, and above him a horrible demon ready to do with him as he pleases.  
The thought was not a bad one.  
It made his blood boil.  
It made him feel _alive_.  
"Why…", Dipper whispered to himself in disbelief.  
Bill let out a quiet laugh.  
"Maybe you should've been born a demon. You don't seem too happy with your boring human self."  
"I don't want this."  
"You **do**. This was the deal. I'm giving you exactly", he paused and scratched his sharp nails all over Dippers chest and stomach, making him scream, "what you want."  
Dipper knew that it was the truth. It was all over.  
All this time of trying to convince himself that he was just an ordinary human… he wasn't.

 _Dipper Pines, you are truly, absolutely messed up._

Bills hands wandered all over his body, slowly and teasing, touching every bit of skin they could find. He used his mouth to bite and suck on Dippers neck every now and then. He managed to make him go crazy within very few minutes.  
"Bill, please—"  
"Please what?"  
The demons eye seemed to glow even brighter now, it's colour changing to red for a moment, making Dipper stare at him in fear. Bill grinned again, very widely, showing off his razor sharp teeth. Oh god, Dipper was _so turned on_.  
"You will tell me exactly what you want", he said, his fingers closing around Dippers throat, " **now**."  
Dipper started shaking again, crying even, he struggled to breath and wanted to yank away the hand on his neck out of reflex, forgetting that his own hands were unable to move. And even so, he felt all of his fear moving straight to his groin, making things worse. Or better. He didn't know anymore.  
"Destroy me", Dipper breathed out, soft sobbing following his own words, "Break me. Do with me as you p-please."  
"And?", Bill whispered very close to Dippers ear, sending shivers through the young mans body.  
"Fuck me."  
Tears streamed down his face.

 _I'm so messed up.  
Twisted.  
I don't deserve to even be called a human.  
I'm possibly causing a future apocalypse just by letting him near me._

But despite all of these thoughts, despite knowing just how wrong all of this was, Dipper couldn't help but admit that _it felt so very, very right._  
"Gladly..." the demon answered, his voice now husky and low. He let go of Dippers neck and reached for his belt, opening it and getting rid of his own pants. Why was he naked except for pants? Probably something Dipper had imagined some day, in some twisted dream.  
"I've done this before, you know. Fucking with humans is always fun after all, no matter in what way", the demon tilted his head and looked at Dippers scared expression, his crying and weak struggle against his own desires. Bill's fingers touched Dippers lips, brushed over them, then a single one pushed into his mouth, in and out, in and out.  
"But the difference is, no one has ever _wanted_ me to do something like this. Not even Sixer. He was obsessed with me, and he kind of wanted my love or something like that, but even he would have never wanted **this**."  
Bill simply watched as Dipper started to suck on his finger, probably pretending it to be something else entirely. After all these years, his little puppet was still full of surprises. And Bill couldn't even deny that he loved it.

Oh, they would have so much fun.

* * *

[Note: The next chapter has a time jump to a few weeks later, and also the first really explicit sex scene.]


	3. Fulfilment

[WARNING - explicit but consent sex scene in this chapter]

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* * *

.

* * *

It's been weeks since the deal he made with the demon.  
And Dipper would be lying if he said he regretted it.  
He didn't regret even one thing about it.  
If anything, he felt so much better.  
So _alive_.  
As if he had been dead for the past 8 years and now his heart was beating and feeling things again, pain and fear mostly, but _he felt something_. The thought almost made him cry, because he was so glad. He didn't know why he had been feeling dead for so long, why he can hardly even remember what he's done these past years other than studying and having the same kind of conversations with Mabel a million times.

Everything was different now.  
Even Mabel had noticed it.  
"You're in such a good mood lately, bro-bro, did something happen?", she had asked, and then she had proceeded to yell on and on about how dipper must be crushing on someone. Dipper laughed a little. She wasn't entirely wrong. He was always there now, not just in his dreams. He followed him through the day, talked to him sometimes. And Dipper didn't mind. No, not at all. He enjoyed Bill's company. And Bill himself seemed to get more and more attached to him, too.  
After the first few times of Bill completely wrecking him in his dreams, making him wake up all sweaty and shaking, the demon simply disappeared without a word.  
Until Dipper made Bill realize that the deal could've been read as only needing to fulfil his wishes once.

Dipper smiled.  
He had caught Bill Cipher off guard.  
That way he made the demon admit that it wasn't just what Dipper wanted, it was what Bill wanted, too. And that was when they started spending more time together, even outside of the dreams. The demon couldn't do anything else, he was still pretty much erased from this world except for Dippers mind. And being that bored, of course he would stay around. Bill was able to talk to him through his mind thanks to the deal they made. Sometimes Dipper could see him right next to him like some kind of ghost, and he wasn't sure if it was just his imagination or if he was really there and Dipper was just the only one able to see him.

This night he went out for a drink with Mabel and her boyfriend, whose name Dipper still couldn't recall. But honestly, who cares. Mabel will mention the name eventually, Dipper will remember it for a few hours, and Bill will probably make him forget again.  
"Not your usual kind of bar", Dipper said, raising his glass to touch Mabels.  
"Derek likes the music here, so he convinced me to come here at least once", she replied, laughing as the guy next to her gave her a kiss on the cheek.  
Ah, there it was. The name.  
He was a nice guy, and he had an interesting taste in music. But there wasn't anything more Dipper could say about him. Almost sad, after all this time they spent together, the three of them. Years even. Wasted time.

 _You really don't like him, hm?_  
Yes. I don't know why, because he's nice.  
 _Maybe it's because he's boring._  
Maybe.  
 _Well, not everyone can be as interesting as me, right Pine Tree?_  
Oh, shut up Bill.

Dipper smiled.  
"There! You're smiling again! Whoooo are you thinking of? Tell meeee!", Mabel yelled and laughed and hit him in the shoulder.  
"Ouch!", Dipper said, rubbing his shoulder and still smiling, "No one you know, Mabel."  
"But there IS someone! HAH!"  
"Maybe. It's nothing serious."

 _Aw, Pine Tree. You're hurting my feelings._  
I said shut up, idiot.  
 _Careful what you call me, sapling. Maybe I won't be in such a good mood later tonight. I can't wait for you to get home and fall asleep._

Dipper felt a warm rush through his entire body. He really hoped he wasn't blushing, but no one would see it anyways in the dim lights of this bar. Mabel and Derek left for a dance to a song the guy apparently really liked. Dipper knew the original version. He liked it too. What was played here was a remix people could better dance to.

 **"** **I've fallen deep into a  
Pit of vipers  
Sliding over me, over me  
And I can't break free  
Secrets run deep when you're in a  
Pit of vipers  
S-s-slithering, whispering  
Feel the venom poisoning me"**

Dipper chugged down his drink.

 _What a nice song. I'd like to dance with you to this one too. Or do other things._  
You're really impatient today, Bill.  
 _Don't forget that I can force into the mindscape too. Shall I take you right now?_  
Dipper was starting to feel hot. Damn it, Bill.  
 _You're adorable._  
And you're being an asshole.

 **"Now I must admit that I have played a part  
In the way that things have gotten out of hand  
But it's escalated almost to an art  
I wanna fix it but I don't think I can"**

 _Are you sure it's not you who is impatient, Pine Tree?_  
Dipper began scratching his right arm without noticing.  
 _You want me really badly right now, don't you?_  
His hands started trembling a little.  
 _You're thinking about where we could be alone, aren't you?  
_  
Dippers eyes went over the dance floor, spotted Mabel and – Name forgotten, again.  
He could just tell them he wasn't feeling well, and go home. But right now, this would take too long. The music, the drinks, the people dancing and rubbing their bodies together in more or less intimate ways, everything got him fired up and made him want the demon right here, right now.

 _That's sweet sapling, but if I fuck you here they are gonna throw you out, and I don't know what your sister will have to say about that._  
I know, I know. Even though everything was happening in the mindscape, Dipper would still moan and scream in real life.

He jumped from the barstool he's been sitting on and quickly made his way through the moving bodies and drunk teenagers as well as adults. He considered going for the toilet, but then he went outside instead, inhaling fresh air for a moment to see if it will calm him down. Two long arms trapped his body from behind, but he could only see them, not feel them. He saw Bill placing a soft kiss on his right shoulder. Dipper took a deep breath, wanting to lean into a non-existent touch.  
 _I'm taking back what I said earlier about how I can't wait for you to get home._  
Bill had lowered his voice.  
 _I can't wait to fuck you in some dark alley because you need me that badly._  
Dipper bit his lip, hard.

He had been walking away from the club and made sure that no one was there. No one would look here for him, either. And he won't be gone for long. His world turned grey, and Bill pushed him against the stone cold wall behind him, and this time Dipper could feel it. He groaned and looked at Bill with half open eyes, clouded with lust.  
"We have… to be quick", he breathed out as Bill was already busy placing kisses and bites all over his neck.  
"Then suck me off."  
Dipper couldn't hold back a soft moan. The demon giving him orders like that was exactly what could get him going very quickly. He didn't mind that he would have to get himself off in this case. This was great. He could keep his voice down better that way, too.  
"I thought you were in a hurry?", Bill said with a grin, ruffling Dippers hair, then yanking on it. Dipper let out a small whimper, then he nodded. Bill usually wanted him to answer questions like that, even if he was just mocking him with them.

"Down with you, then" the demon whispered into his ear, and pushed him to his knees. Dipper hastily opened up his own belt and tugged down his pants, then Bills. The demons glowing eye stared down at him as if it wanted to devour him whole. Dippers face was flushed, he was panting and began to stroke Bills length.  
Bill apparently had no patience, because his fingers gripped Dippers hair and moved his head forward, starting to thrust into the young mans mouth right away. Dippers muffled moaning was music to the demons hearing.  
"You don't know just _how_ much I love to see you like this, Pine Tree", Bill said with a groan, pushing and pulling in and out of Dippers mouth, who had started to touch himself. Dipper used both of his own hands, fucking himself on his fingers and using the other to pump his cock while sucking Bills. His eyes rolled over in pleasure. He was getting close already. Talk about quick.

After a few minutes Bill suddenly yanked his head back. The grip hurt and dipper whimpered and moaned, staring up at the demon. Bill licked his lips. The look on his Pine Trees face made him want to do a lot of way worse things to him. When had a simple human ever been able to turn him on this much?  
"Ah—Aaah… B-Bill, pl—"  
"Shut up and lie down on your back."  
The demon was in the mood to try something new, and why not reward his precious little plaything for always being such a good boy?  
As expected, Dipper obeyed and got into the position he was told.  
"What are you—"  
"Didn't I tell you to shut up? Use your mouth for something better."  
The position Bill took then made Dipper hold his breath. 69, really? Bill never lowered himself to do something like this. A hot wave of excitement and pleasure took over Dipper as he took Bill's dick back into his mouth, and the demon took his.  
Oh god.  
Or demons, in his case.  
Dipper wouldn't be able to handle this for long.  
Trembling and moaning he did his very best to please Bill, but the demons skilled and unnaturally long tongue distracted him from sucking properly. He couldn't help but buck his hips up, trying to fuck Bills mouth. He felt the demons lips curl into a grin. Dippers muffled moaning got louder and louder with every second, his nails dragging along the demons hips just for the sake of holding onto something.  
Way too early, he came right into Bills mouth, bucking up his hips a little too hard. Dippers eyes rolled back, moaning while the demons length was still in his mouth. Bill took it out for a moment to change his position, and to take a good long look at the young mans pleasured face. He then kneeled right above Dippers face, and Dipper understood, starting to suck him off again.  
Bill's moaning got louder and he gripped Dipper's hair again, hard, thrusting faster into his mouth. The young man made whimpering sounds and his entire body was still shaking from his own orgasm.  
"Almost forgot how much you love it when I almost rip out your pretty hair."  
The demon laughed and stared down at him with a manic expression, the kind of face he makes when he's about to come.  
Wide eyed and creepy.  
The stuff nightmares are made off.  
The stuff that turns Dipper on like nothing else ever would.  
And he came, with his Pine Trees name on his lips.


	4. Regret

It was the middle of the night.  
Dipper was asleep.  
Bill wasn't.  
He never was, demon and all.

He's been around the human for such a long time now, and he has noticed how it's started to affect him.  
He rolled his one eye.  
 _Affection_.  
Unbelievable.  
And he sure as hell doesn't like it. But what can he do? His powers are still too weak; he's still not able to invade other people's dreams. This might take years. He really does not have anything better to do than to stay with his admittedly favourite human.

He was watching him sleep.  
So sweet, so peacefully. At least that's what it looked like.  
Bill knew it wasn't true.  
He'd seen and _done_ enough to know that while Dipper honestly believed the fulfilment of his sick desires made him feel better, he was actually destroying himself. He made Bill destroy him. He had started to ask for more and more ridiculous things, more humiliation, more pain. It didn't take Bill long to understand that his Pine Tree seemed to be addicted to a certain kind of pain. Pain, as experienced in the mindscape, seems to be physical, but is mental in reality. At some point he won't be able to take it anymore. He thinks it's fine because it's all in the mindscape, but his body had already started to react, and he had started throwing his barely healthy lifestyle completely away. He won't be able to keep this up forever. And just recently, Bill himself had started to dislike the situation.

What good was his favourite human if he keeps hurting himself like that just to feel alive? And what had made him this way? Was it the possession in his childhood? Was it Weirdmageddon? His sister didn't seem to have any lasting problems with that. Was it really just that Dipper Pines is a lot more weird than humans usually are?  
At first Bill had taken great pleasure in hurting Dipper and fucking him senseless, but this somehow turned into something he didn't like anymore. It didn't feel like _he_ was the one hurting the human, it didn't even feel like Bill was the one in control anymore. He was simply fulfilling Pine Trees wishes. It bothered him. He was always supposed to be the one in control. Always.

He wasn't able to touch him outside of the mindscape, and for tonight he won't appear in his dreams anymore. Still, Bill reached out to faintly brush his fingers over the birthmark on Dippers forehead. If it had been a real touch, it would have been a very gentle one.  
The demon almost couldn't believe himself, but he didn't want this stupid human to die.

* * *

.

* * *

It took Dipper a while to finally open his eyes. He'd been lying awake in bed for a few hours and didn't feel like getting up. He had forgotten what day it was, but yesterday had been a tough night. Been drinking too much. It's been fun. It didn't cross his mind that it was weird to go out drinking all alone and call it a fun night.  
He groaned and finally sat up straight. A good day to stay in bed, but the growling of his stomach was starting to get on his nerves. And why was Bill ignoring him? Dipper had been trying to talk to him all morning, but he didn't answer.

He got up from his bed, went to the bathroom and didn't do much more than quickly splash some cold water into his face, drying it with his sleeping shirt. He didn't really look at his reflection. Maybe he should have. The dark circles under his eyes had become worse over the past few weeks. His hair had become too long, almost touching his shoulders, and he hadn't bothered to shave in a while, either. He didn't notice. After all, he forgot about everything that wasn't really important.  
What _was_ important then, again?

"Where are you?"  
Still no answer. It bothered Dipper. Bill had told him before that it would probably take years for him to be able to show up in other people's dreams again. So Dipper was the only human being he could be around. And he knew for a fact that Bill hated his own dimension. He had told him once. "Two-dimensional, utterly boring, nothing is happening there at all and whatever lives in it doesn't have emotions that could be toyed around with like yours." He had said. Bill didn't have much of a choice than to stay around him. So why didn't he talk to him now?  
Dipper opened the fridge and sighed deeply. It was pretty much empty. No choice but to go and buy something. Maybe he should get Chinese take-out? A single Pit-Cola was left in the fridge. It'll do to stop his stomach from growling, for now.

When he went back to his room, he could clearly feel that Bill was watching.

"Why are you ignoring me?" Dipper asked, gathering the clothes he had been wearing two days ago. Yesterdays clothes smelled too much of smoke, but these were still fine. He'll wash his stuff in the afternoon, or tomorrow. Probably.  
"Bill, seriously. I know you're here. What's wrong? Angry at your own pitiful existence or something?"

Bill was indeed watching, and the mocking comment made him furious. Usually he would have dragged the other into the mindscape right now, giving him a good lesson on why he was in no position to talk to him like that.  
But he knew by now that this was just Dippers way of getting his attention, and eventually the pain he desires so much.  
Not today.  
Bill decided that for one day, he simply wanted to watch and observe.

"Fine, be a sulking stupid nacho then."

Bill wanted to strangle him.

Dipper heard a knock on his door. He quickly put on his shirt. The doorbell was broken and Dipper had forgotten to fix it. He didn't know for how long already. But did it matter? Hardly anyone ever came here. This was probably just someone from the house management, as always.  
But it wasn't.  
He opened the door.  
It was Mabel.

"Goodness, look at you!" she said, furrowing her eyebrows and crossing her arms, "Dipper Pines, what the hell have you been doing lately?"  
Dipper was too surprised to form any kind of answer. Mabel never showed up just like that, she usually-  
"You didn't answer my texts for weeks! I even tried to call you! I was so worried, and so was mom by the way!"  
Oh.  
They had been trying to call him, too?  
He hadn't noticed. Had he been in the mindscape too much? Or…  
"Sorry, maybe I forgot to turn my phone back on." he said.  
"For THREE WEEKS?"  
Damn, had it really been that long?  
Dipper sighed and pushed his hair back. It was too long and had started to cover his eyes a little.  
"Look, Mabel, Im sorry, I just…"  
"Just what? Look at the MESS you've made here! There's clothes and food lying around everywhere and it looks like you haven't cleaned anything for the past two months!"  
She walked in without asking and closed the door behind her.  
"Dipper Pines", she said with a warning tone to her voice, "You will tell me what is bothering you, right now."  
He stared at her.  
Bothering?  
Nothing was bothering him.  
"Nothing, Mabel, I've just been lazy is all." He said.  
"When was the last time you went to university?" She asked, looking really angry. The kind of angry look when she just _knew_ that her twin brother was lying to her. Dipper started to scratch his left arm. Mabel couldn't help but notice that both of his arms looked sore and reddish.

"Dipper...", her tone changed, a lot more calm now,  
"Please, I'm really just worried about you. Let me… let me help. Something happened, right? Did someone hurt you? Did you lose something important? Do I have to beat someone up? Just tell me, please. You know I've always got your back, whatever it is."  
"I don't need help. I'm fine. I've just been a little too carefree and should probably clean up here."

 _You're definitely not okay Pine Tree, but sure, keep telling yourself that._

Not now, Bill.

Dipper sighed.  
"Look Mabel, I'm really sorry. Learning and work has been getting a bit much. I guess I just need some time off or something."  
"Then why didn't you tell me sooner?", she asked.  
Sad eyes.  
Dipper couldn't handle those.  
"I didn't want to bother you, I mean, you're living a happy live with your boyfriend—"  
"Are you serious right now?"  
He blinked. Mabel suddenly looked furious. Did he say something wrong?

 _Oh boy, you just_ _ **really**_ _fucked up._

Shut up already!

"I broke up with Derek a month ago! You were at my place, listening to my crying for HOURS! Dipper, what the hell?!"  
Oh shit.  
No wait, how?  
How could he just forget about something like that?  
The guys name was one thing, but this?  
But no matter how hard he tried, he only remembered little bits from that day. He knew that it had happened, but it felt like he hadn't really been there. As if he'd been watching this scene of his life instead of playing the part.

"I… I'm sorry Mabel, I didn't forget, I just wasn't thinking for a moment—"  
"You haven't been thinking about anything at all for a LONG time now, Dipper!"  
"Mabel, I—"  
"You know what, do whatever you want and call me when my brother is back."

 _If he will ever be back, that is._

"I said **SHUT UP, BILL!"**

Mabel's hand had already been on the door handle, but now she stood frozen in place.  
"What… did you just say?"  
Dippers face was nearly as white as the wall.  
Shit.  
He had said that out loud.  
He's been getting so used to talking to Bill out loud lately that he didn't pay attention.  
Mabel looked at him with a truly horrified expression. _  
_He started shaking.  
"I… I was just talking to myself."  
"I'm not dumb, Dipper. Or are you even Dipper? Are you Bill right now?!"

 _You wish, Shooting Star. You wish._

"No! No I'm not, it's me Mabel! Bill doesn't exist anymore, you know that!"  
"Then WHO were you talking to?!" she cried, looking really scared. She grabbed an umbrella that was lying around near the door with one hand, the other still on the handle.  
"Tell me something only Dipper would know. _Now."_ She said. Her hands were visibly trembling, but her voice sounded like that of a movie heroine ready to kill.  
Dipper panicked.  
For a moment he considered asking Bill for help, making him remember something that only he could know.

 _I won't help you._

Dipper bit his lip.  
When did it get so hard to remember things, anything at all?  
Quick, something…  
"W-when we were in 2nd grade, on photo day, you were looking really great but that stupid girl put a piece of chewing gum on your hair. You… you were crying but then I had the really stupid idea to just shave both our hair off. You laughed, we did it, and we took the picture together. Mom was furious, and Dad was laughing his ass off. We were grounded for three weeks. But it was…" , Dipper had to pause.  
His eyes were wide and filled with tears. What was happening? Why did it feel like these weren't even his own memories? Why was it so hard to recall any real feelings about this?  
"It was… _It was fun_ …", he choked out, tears starting to run down his cheeks.  
Mabel lowered the umbrella she had pointed at her brother, and then it fell to the ground. She slowly came closer and pulled Dipper into a hug.  
"Dipper, I'm sorry…", she whispered.  
"No, no… I'm the one who should be, I've been terrible, I don't deserve to—"  
"Sssshh. Shut up now. It's not your fault. But… but Dipper, please. If… If Bill is bothering you or messing with your head, then…"

 _Am I, Pine Tree? Go on, tell her._

Dipper flinched.  
"No Mabel, he's not really here. I've… I've just been thinking too much lately."  
His sister looked hurt.  
"I want to believe you Dipper, I really do. Will you be okay?"  
"Definitely. Don't worry Mabel."  
She sighed.  
"I have to get to work now. Please tell mom that you're okay, too."  
"Will do."


	5. Change

After his sister had left, Dipper had the worst breakdown in years.

He was sitting on the floor, his shaking arms around his legs, drawing them closer to his body. As if this position could protect him from whatever had made him cry. He didn't even know. He didn't understand. He hated it.  
He HATED that he just wasn't able to understand this!  
"B-Bill. Please talk to me. Take me to the mindscape. Please…"  
Hot tears left stains in the shirt he dried them with. If Bill would make him fall asleep, he'd be able to stop the tears. Everything would stop.  
"PLEASE!"  
He screamed.

And it happened.  
The world went grey.  
Dipper took a deep breath and relaxed a bit.  
The mindscape clearly comforted him.

"Bill…?" he asked weakly.  
The demon was standing right there, but he was oddly quiet, as he had been all day except for when he had interfered while he was talking to Mabel. _Interfered._ Did he do that on purpose?

Bill still didn't say anything. He was simply looking down on him.

"Bill, I need you. Now. Please. I need…"  
Dipper got up from the colourless floor and came closer to the demon. He cupped Bill's face with both of his hands and kissed him. Bill didn't react at first, but then he pushed Dipper away. It left the young man with a confused expression.  
"W-what do you want me to do? I'll do anything, please, just tell me what—"  
" **Stop.** "

Dipper froze. He expected to get beaten up or something, expected Bill to tell him what he'd done wrong and then punish him for it, something like that. Something you would expect from a horrible demon that had once tried to cause the apocalypse. But Bill didn't do anything at all.  
"As much as I love having fun with you, this isn't fun anymore", the demon said, his voice colder than ever. Dippers eyes widened. He could feel Bill's fingers under his chin, lifting up his face so he would have to look at him. But what he saw in the demons face was no lust, no thirst for blood, nothing like that.  
It was concern.

"Pine Tree, you keep coming to me whenever something in the real world goes wrong. You want me to wreck you almost every day so you'll simply forget about everything and can go on pretending none of it ever happened. You forgot about the fact that Shooting Star's relationship went downhill because you literally asked me to _fuck it out of your brain_ right after. Your words, not mine. Because you didn't want to deal with your sister being sad."

"My real world problems got NOTHING to do with you!" Dipper yelled, feeling his body shaking in fear. Not the kind of fear he liked. It was a crippling, horrible fear of losing the one thing that made him feel alive at all.

"Really, Pine Tree? You need the pain and humiliation that I can give you the same way other humans need drugs and alcohol. And guess what, I'm **tired** of giving it to you. I'm a _demon_. I play by my own rules, _not by yours_."

"WE HAD A DEAL!"

"You said it yourself, sapling. The deal can be read as only having to fulfill your wishes once."

"You can't go to anyone else! You told me yourself that you can't!"

Bill's eyes narrowed.  
"Even my own boring dimension is more interesting than you right now, Pine Tree."  
Something was off. Bill had expected the other to get desperate, begging him to stay.  
But if anything, Dipper was getting angry. It wasn't like him.

"So, I'm just not interesting anymore, huh?"  
Dipper was actually laughing. It seemed surreal to Bill that this was the same innocent kid that fucked over his plans for world domination 8 years ago.  
"How about a new deal, then?" Dipper asked, smiling.

"You're suggesting a deal to **me**?"

"You can let me wake up, but you have to stay within my mind and talk to me for the rest of the day so I won't completely freak out. In return, I will do something to surprise you. Something to spark up your interest."

Bill had to admit that he was curious.  
"All of that just so I'll stay for a day to comfort you? You need help, kid."

"I'm not a kid anymore, Cipher."  
 _You are_. Bill kept the thought to himself. To him, it seemed like Pine Tree never really grew up. He changed, but he was still a child.

"If that's all. Sure" Bill said, his right hand burning with the familiar blue flames, "Surprise me, Pine Tree. It's a **deal**."

Dipper seemed to relax and smiled a little.  
He shook on it.  
And he woke up right away.

 _I'll just make myself comfortable in your head then. You have the the entire rest of the day to surprise me._

Oh, I don't think it will take me that long.

Dipper smiled. Being inside of Dippers mind, the demon wouldn't be able to watch what he was doing. He'd only be able to hear and read his thoughts. As long as Dipper managed to not focus his thoughts on the task, Bill would soon enough have the surprise of his lifetime. And Dipper was actually very good at controlling his thoughts. Otherwise he wouldn't have been able to hide this one from Bill all these months.  
He got up from the floor and almost fell over. His body was weak and exhausted. Oh, right. He hadn't eaten anything yet.

 _At this rate you'll die before the day ends._

I know what I'm doing, thanks.  
He went to his room. There, in the corner, was a chest that once belonged to Mabel. A lot of her stuff was still in there. It was meant for childhood memories, old stuffed animals, photos of the past few years, postcards from Gravity Falls they got every year. Stuff like that. A treasure chest, kind of.  
Dipper opened the chest and started looking for something, careful to focus his thoughts on something else entirely. And boy, did he focus on that _something_.

 _Stop thinking about having sex with me._

Dipper smiled.  
Why, does it bother you?

 _I will make you regret about trying to manipulate me into what you want. You will do whatever I want, NOT the other way around._

Uh-huh. And how exactly will you make me regret it? I can't wait. Also, did you just admit that I can seduce you into having sex with me? I thought you just liked to hurt me, but you're actually into me, aren't you?

There was silence for a moment.

 _Maybe you can surprise me, but that doesn't mean I'll stay. Wasn't part of the deal. Never thought I'd say that, but I'm really done with you. I like my humans better with a little more emotion and-_

Less like you?

Dipper grinned.  
He had found what he was looking for. It was a gun, but not just any gun. It looked a lot like the memory gun that had erased the demon out of his Great uncles head, 8 years ago. But this one works a little… differently. If it worked at all. They had never tried it out before. There hadn't been a reason to.

He held it right to his own head.  
Didn't even blink.  
"Surprise, Bill."  
Then he pulled the trigger.


	6. Control

"Surprise, Bill."

Bill's eye widened. How?  
How had this stupid, ordinary human been able to hide this from him just by focusing on other thoughts? And since _when_ had he been able to control his thoughts so well?!

 **What have you DONE?**

Dipper did not answer.  
Something was happening to the young man, he was still awake, but he was lying on the floor with a seemingly terrible headache, making pained noises every now and then. Bill didn't understand, and it made him furious. Dippers mind seemed to alter itself in some way, some kind of force within it changed. Things only a dream demon would notice.

 **What was that gun? Are you trying to erase me again? You FOOL!**

Dipper seemed to laugh. Bill couldn't see it, still in his mind, and he decided to leave right now. There was nothing he could do to prevent Pine Tree from destroying himself, but he was done taking any part in it.

And that was when he realized.  
He couldn't leave.  
There was no way out of this mind, not anymore.

 **YOU WILL TELL ME WHAT YOU'VE DONE, RIGHT NOW!**

Bill's eye went red, his body black, he changed his form to his usual triangular shape and then to a gigantic six-armed pyramid within Dippers mind. He tried to use his every bit of energy to break out of here. But nothing worked. Some kind of force field, opposing to his own energy, was keeping him in. The demons body started to shake out of anger, and something else he couldn't quite recognize.

 **THAT'S IT.**

Bill used his privilege of being inside Dippers mind to make the young man fall asleep, dragging him into the mindscape. _Literally._ He had grabbed Dipper by his hair, dragging him over the grey floor, then smashing him against the wall of his apartment, again, and again, and one more time. Making him bleed. Getting even more furious remembering that the human _enjoyed_ this.

"You think you can outsmart me, Pine Tree? Do you know who you're dealing with? **DO YOU KNOW** ** _WHAT_** **YOU'RE DEALING WITH?** ", the demon screamed at him, throwing the other to the floor and stepping on him, hard. His one eye stared down at Dipper, and every other human being would have been intimidated, scared to death, begging for their life.

But Dipper Pines laughed.

"You tell me, Bill."

Suddenly, Bill was forced back into the human form he had picked out of Dippers dreams, and the demon fell to his knees. He was too confused to even struggle. He did not understand what was happening, at all. It was almost as if he had… lost control. Completely. Bill's eye was wide and he now knew what the strange new feeling might be.  
Could this be what humans called… fear?

"What have you done?" the demon asked one more time. He still couldn't believe any of this. He couldn't believe that any human would be capable of doing something like this.

Dipper smiled weakly. It was almost a sad smile, pitiful even.  
"You said you didn't like how you weren't in control anymore, didn't you, Bill? Well, here's the thing: You never were. You underestimated me greatly. Did you really think that after all these years I have spent obsessing over you, I wouldn't be well prepared for your return? Did you think that after I've beaten you within the mindscape when I was only 12 years old, I wouldn't be able to perfectly control my thoughts 8 years later?"

No. That couldn't be. No one had ever been able to do something like that, no one…

"The gun is similar to the memory gun that erased you back then, but not quite the same. Great uncle Ford and me build this one together after Grunkle Stan had recovered his memories. It surprised me that you thought I was able to convince Ford just like that. You, of all beings out there, should know his paranoia very well. He wouldn't shut up about you coming back until we created this."

A picture of the gun Dipper had shot himself in the head with earlier appeared right behind him.

"We came to the conclusion that erasing you out of someone's head wasn't save enough. So this gun was made to _trap_ you inside a person's mind instead."

Bill stared at the young man in disbelief. He was still on his knees and unable to move. Unable to change his form. Unable to do anything at all. Dippers mind control was stronger than his own, something no human had ever been able to do. And Bill came to the horrible realization that everything he had just been told was true. He had not been in control from the start. Dipper had always just manipulated him into doing whatever he wanted, and now he was able to _force_ him.

This couldn't be true, right?  
He was an all-powerful demon, a being of pure energy with no weaknesses, right?  
But this was the mind of Dipper Pines. And he couldn't leave.  
He had made a grave mistake.  
He should have left when he still had the chance.  
He should not have agreed to the deal.

No, no, no, **NO**!

"Y'know", Dipper sighed, slowly walking around the demon in circles, "I was hoping that I wouldn't have to do this. Because I really prefer you being the dangerous, sadistic and bloodthirsty demon. The one who forces _me_ into submission. I would've never expected you to become so soft. What was that about, Bill? Did you actually want to _help_ me, by signalling Mabel and then leaving me?"  
He laughed a little.  
"The gun wasn't meant to be used for this, but who cares. It's too late now."

"You're really not much of a human anymore, kid."

He didn't know what else to say. This was utterly wrong. Not only had the kid completely turned around the situation between them, he also correctly interpreted Bill's every move. When had his actions become so easy to read? When had HE, the demon of nightmares and master of manipulation, become the victim of manipulation?

Dipper was now right in front of him. There was an almost gentle smile on his face. He brought both his hands to Bill's cheeks, and kissed him. The demon wished nothing more than to be able to change out of this form, but Dippers pure mind-force didn't allow him to even lift a single finger.  
"You started to care about me, didn't you?" Dipper asked, "That's sweet. No, really. I'm kind of glad you do. I don't know if what I'm feeling about you is love, or just a messed up obsession. But what's the difference, really?

Bill's look was deadly.  
"Don't talk to me like that. I don't really give a shit about you, Dipper."

"Oh? No affectionate calling me 'Pine Tree' or 'Sapling' anymore? You're hurting my feelings."

"I will find some way out of this. And I will make you regret this. I _will_ find a way to kill you, Dipper Pines, and it won't be the last thing I do. I'll torture your soul even after your death. You really shouldn't mess with things you don't fully understand."

"I don't even understand myself, so I really don't care, Bill."  
Dipper knelt down in front of him. He started to kiss the demons neck and softly let his hands wander over the others chest. Bill inhaled sharply. This was really not how things were supposed to be.  
"Never thought I'd see you like this," Dipper said, his hands moving to Bill's crotch and starting to rub him through his pants, "I like it. Not what I prefer, but enjoyable anyways." The young mans voice was so cold, so empty of every emotion, and yet there was a certain weird sadness to it. Bill closed his one eye. This wasn't happening, right?  
This couldn't be happening!

Suddenly, he felt himself move. He didn't move on his own, it was the other controlling him. _Like a puppet._ Oh, the irony. Bill lied down on his back, lifting his hips and slowly taking off his pants, all while Dipper placed kisses all over his chest.  
Bill's body started to shake a little, but that was actually him struggling at full force against what was happening. It was pathetic that even when he tried to fight back with everything he got, he couldn't even put a scratch on the absolute control Dipper had over his own mind.  
Dipper rolled his hips against Bill's, a moan on his lips. He pulled the demon into another kiss and Bill couldn't help but start feeling aroused, too. Fuck. He didn't want this, because he was a demon, and demons _never_ succumbed to the wants of others. But he had become somewhat addicted to his touch, addicted even to this pathetic human form Dipper had dreamed up for him, addicted to the way the young man moaned and screamed his name when he fucked him senseless.  
"Stop", Bill breathed out, hating himself for how _fucking weak_ he sounded.  
Dipper smiled a little, softly kissing his cheek. Bill hated it.  
"I won't stop controlling you unless you're willing to dominate me like you always do. If you don't want that, I'll make you. You have nowhere to go anyways."  
Bill couldn't even decide what was worse. Being completely under control while doing this was horrible, but he honestly didn't want to take action right now, either. He felt utterly defeated.  
"Do whatever you want" Bill said, and closed his eye.

He had lost.

* * *

[Authors Note: Hey to the few people reading this, I'm not sure if I will continue the story here, but you will find it - and me - under the same name on Ao3.]


End file.
